if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
