just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
