I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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