i can't believe i had my finger in that
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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