she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
