you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
