he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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