Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
