foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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