you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
