Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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