The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
