bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
