her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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