I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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