Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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