paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The uberlube is also flammable
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
