I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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