Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Randomize
