STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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