is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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