Soap is not a condiment
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize