So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
