We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
