Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It's blow job season.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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