it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
