HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
