whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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