i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
