Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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