how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
