But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
