He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
