In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
