I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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