Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize