what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's official drugs can't kill me
I stole a fireplace last night.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
