Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
