I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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