I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
