Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
