Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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