This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
