Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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