I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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