toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I know her cup size but not her name....
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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