Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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