my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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