Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
