Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
