My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
