Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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