remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
