I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
