I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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