You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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