I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
pop tarts are not kleenex
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
