If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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