I think i peed on brittanys purse
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
