what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
