Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
