the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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