you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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