I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
it's like iHOP with fire
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
