you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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