I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
