K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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