i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize